No one has influenced the person you are today like your mother. The way she handled your needs as a child has shaped your worldview, your relationships, your marriage, your career, your self-image-your life. You can identify areas that need reshaping, to make positive choices for personal change, and to establish a mature relationship with Mom today, and help your relationship with your daughter tomorrow.
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(3 Reviews) 3
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This book digs deeply into the profound and lasting effects of the mothering a person receives in his/her life. It reveals the connections of present behaviors in individuals lives that are directly linked to the type of mothering they had. I have always believed that the season of motherhood is sacred and that the task should be approached with much prayer. I think that most of us want to mother a little differently than our mother's mothered us. Coming from a dysfunctional family to say the least and having a difficult and at sometimes volatile relationship with my own mother I was extremely curious about this book. I can most certainly see areas in my mothering style that are copies of my own mother - as this was my main example growing up. However, I can also see the effects of the "mothering" I received by others as well that have rounded off some of the bad.
The authors breakdown six mothering types: (1) the Controlling Mom, (2) The Phantom Mom, (3) The Still-The-Boss Mom, (4) The China Doll Mom, (5) The Trophy Mom, and (6) The American Express Mom. They first address each mom through real-life examples of these mothering types and what effects are seen in adult children of this style. They talk about the common characteristics displayed by each mothering style and the resulting character of the children. This is very interesting - in deed! After this there is another section for each style that is solely dedicated to overcoming the negative and reconciling it all to Christ to make a positive future. It also gives hope to those of us who have followed bad examples that though we've made mistakes in mothering and other relationships due to our example that we can make changes.
This is not a mom bashing book - giving adults a cop out for bad parenting and relational skills. In fact it is more about becoming responsible for our own actions, owning our mistakes and then making the conscience choice to become better through Christ.
While you may pick this up in hopes of correcting or understanding the relationship you have with your own mother beware that you may find yourself in this book too. At times I found myself very convicted but at the same time encouraged that I can change these things that are negative while my children are still young.
A very informative and useful book. An excellent resource for parents and pastors. This may help in understanding all relationships in your life - may even help you understand that difficult person you know, live with, or work with.
Thank you Zondervan for this review copy.
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Review 2 for The Mom Factor
Date:July 29, 2009
This book will help to set you free from chains you don't even realize are binding you. I read it when it was first published. It was validating to read about my own relationship with my "phantom mother." I was no longer guilty for everything that was wrong in our relationship. Plus Drs. Cloud and Townsend give tools that I could use to quit needing her to be the mother I wanted and to have the best relationship it was possible to have. I have recently been reviewing this book in a woman's group and have been reminded of the healing which is possible as women gain insight into their relationships with their mothers as well as their own "mothering" patterns. If you have a mother or are a mother, it is a worthwhile read.
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Review 3 for The Mom Factor
Date:August 23, 2001
This is a must have book. With the Lords help and this book you will learn how to become a better mom. Plus, this book will help you with your relationship with your own mother. Learn why we are the way we are.