Many moms and dads today are diligently committed to their child-rearing responsibilities-but are anxious about how to best fulfill them. Dr. Tim Kennel offers a refreshing alternative to rigid, fear-based approaches by reflecting on how God "raises" us. Discover how to create a nurturing home environment that produces spiritually strong children with calm, confident, purpose-filled hearts.
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We heard Dr. Kimmel speak several years and were very impressed with what we heard. As a result, we purchased this book and it revolutionized our approach to parenting. Prior to reading this book, we were quite harsh and legalistic with our kids and we could see how it was harming them and causing them to rebel. We still have high standards for our children; this book does not recommend removing standards.
But now, we parent our kids out of grace and love whereas before it was all about performance and discipline. Since we caught hold of this teaching when our kids were young, we were able to eliminate corporal punishment. In fact, we rarely have to discipline our kids at all. We teach them what's right, and we lovingly but sternly correct them when we feel it's necessary.
Our oldest daughter is now 16, and she has transformed from a rebellious, stand-offish, emotionally closed off girl to a sweet, loving 16 year old who loves God, proclaims the Gospel boldly and without fear, and is comfortable with love.
Our other two children, ages 14 and 11, also love God. They seek Him out and read His Word, and they readily share the Gospel with their friends. They do these things because they want to; we do not "force" them to do these things. In other words, they do these things as an act of their will, not out of fear or obligation.
People, including kids, do have free will. And unfortunately, people can get in the ditch with any teaching but in our experience, when employed correctly, Grace-Based Parenting is the best method we've found for raising Godly young people who are well-prepared for life. We'll always be deeply indebted to Dr. Kimmel for this amazing book!
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Review 2 for Grace-Based Parenting - eBook
the book is very relevant
Date:August 5, 2012
I'm not finish yet, but so far it has put my toes back on the ground.its touches on the very basics going back to understanding of grace---then living it daily...it help me to think when am angry at my children,to do evaluation of my anger and my approaches.parents gets angry so easily at small issues specially when they're stressed,the book reminded over the moral issues that parents has to be of great consideration.great work...
This is the best comprehensive book on parenting that I have read to date. I recommend it all the time. As a counselor and mother of five grown children, I believe in the principles that Tim Kimmel espouses - because they are Biblical. As a parent my first desire is that my children grow to know and love the Lord. Only by recognizing how desperately I need the Lord's grace daily can I hope to offer it to my children daily. By doing so in an authentic manner, my children were eventually able to see that their father and I were on their side. As they floundered along their own meandering paths drenched in the love and grace of their perfect Father they came to see Him as the life-giving, trustworthy Lord that He is.
Sadly Dr. Kimmel creates his own legalistic approach to parenting where if you raise your children any other way, or in certain ways, you are legalistic and not showing grace to your children. My favorite example of this is his reaction to scheduled feeding. I understand that there are methods out there that advocate strict schedules, which are not healthy, but Dr. Kimmel wants to throw the baby out with the bath water.Also, I fail to understand how anyone would advocate such loose boundaries as he does for their teenagers in a culture where more and more teens are getting pregnant and engaging in any number of harmful activities that will affect them for the rest of their lives. To say nothing of the spiritual impact such actions have. Call me legalistic for setting stricter boundaries for my children, I don't care. Child development specialists know that setting the bar of expectations high does not discourage children, it makes the level of failure that much less destructive when it comes to behavior. This is not earning brownie points, it is putting forth effort toward habits that will be more productive spiritually, emotionally, and physically.His is a perspective only, and one should read this with the knowledge that Dr. Kimmel is reacting to his own "legalistic" upbringing, not necessarily writing from a theological perspective as he suggests. One would be better served by reading such Christian authors as Dr. Sears or Dr. Dobson, or anyone else who actually has a background in childhood development, but is not overly influenced by a permissive culture or their own childhood baggage.This is not grace, it is symbolism over substance--righteousness without holiness.
If you are a parent, I highly recommend that you read this book. Tim has given us a guideline on giving grace, not only to our children, but to our spouses as well. Grace is the lubricate that keeps every relationship moving smoothly.
This book has literally been excruciating to read. It has exposed the extremes of our style of parenting that we had been using. It caused us to examine the premises upon which we were operating as parents. In being exposed we were forced to say that much of how and why we did things to our children were wrong. The fruit of our style of parenting was bearing ugly fruit that was very painful and destructive. We were losing our son. The Christian boarding school we got him to required this book for us to read and we are so very thankful that we did. It is hard to put into words the emotions that we have gone through as parents; the grief, the guilt; the anger; the deep sadness. Upon reading and discussing the contents of this book, we came to a realization that we were Pharisaical parents based upon fear not love and grace. That we had kept things away from our children out of fear that they would turn to "worldly" things. This only caused them to reject us and want it more which caused a huge spiraling out of control mess until our 16 year old was totally out of our control with violence and was tossed out for the sake of the other children. This book caused us to see our wrong and begin to correct it. We now have our son back and are on the road to reconciliation and restoration of our relationship. We have not arrived but we now have a different grace based approach that does not deny Biblical standards and discipline. It is a walk of faith not of formulas because our God desires to have a relationship with us that then we model to our children. It is working!
This book has been the best book that I have read on parenting. Tim encourages us to treat our children the way God treats us, with grace, forgiveness, gentleness and encouragement. We need to let go of any legalistic attitudes, because God is not legalistic, He works with our hearts not externals. Great book !!!