Veteran marriage coach Daniel Tocchini doesn't want to improve marriages; he wants to transform them! Drawing on real-life experiences - his own and that of couples he's counseled - he offers practical guidance to help you talk honestly, listen generously, tackle tricky issues, break out of ruts, and abandon self-centered "consumer thinking." Innovative, insightful, and biblical, his approach will help you achieve the relationship God intended. Paperback.
Daniel says, We dont need to change, fix, or better the bad stuff about US: we need the kind of change we call transformationchanging how we view ourselves, our spouse and our marriage. In other words, the way you view your spouse or a particular situation you are inwill determine the quality of your life! Wow!Do you view one another as a product?; consumerism can and does seep into marriage. We were born into it...its everywhere. A consumer views marriage as if it exists for individual fulfillment. If a spouse isnt being fulfilled, then that 'consumer' looks for another relationship or even falls into an addiction to fulfill their particular needwhether to look good, feel good, be right or be in control. This book opened my eyes to many things about how we view relationships of any kind. I like how Daniel Tocchini writes. He keeps it simple and gives great examples from different couples hes counseled, so you get the point hes trying to make. He also writes dialogue between couples in order to show you that point. There are six powerful chapters in this book and each one has great exercises for you to do, then followed by an overview. I really was touched by what this author had to say about how changing your point of view can change your world and those around you. This book will help you no matter what stage your marriage is in or how long youve been married. Its not about meIts about US! Im so thankful to have received a review copy of this book. Its a simple, but deep and thought provoking read. Daniel presents his information in a positive manner - one that is hopeful and not discouraging. Ill definitely be reading this again!
I love first off that he calls it a user's manual instead of a help book or whatever. It means it's meant to be used, written in and worked through!I think a huge part that separates this book from other marriage books is it talks about our conversations. Tocchini explains, This is a transformational approach to breaking through the barriers and getting out of the ruts in our marriage by paying attention to our conversationwhat we are thinking, our motivation for thinking it, and the impact it has on our spouse.I think we all too often are comfortable with our spouses and forget to remember their real feelings and that what we can say can have a deep impact no matter how much they love us, (or we love them). It talks about how we can change ourselves, or rather work on utilizing what we have and our attitudes to transform our marriage. I appreciated Tocchini's different approach on marriage. I think it is very effective and I have lots to learn about myself through it! I like that the focus is on US - not me or the other, but us.I like how Tocchini did the highlights at the end of the chapter to sum it up. It made it easier to remember what he was saying in point form at the end of each chapter.I think this is a good book for any couple interested in improving their conversational skills and marriage to their spouses.**review copy
This book is not like most of the marriage help books out on the shelf today. It is not one filled with self-help ideas, but one that challenges the very way you look at your marriage and life. It address head on the worldly mentality of me first and the attitude of changing our spouses to fit our needs. It challenges the reader to align their personal thought process from me first to the biblical based idea of esteeming others greater than yourself. Each chapter takes a couple with a real-life issue common to most marriages and applies the biblical standard to correcting the thought process behind the attitude and action. I believe that if a reader takes the time to prayerfully consider the advice you can not help but see areas that need to be corrected even in a very solid marriage. It is clearly stated in scripture that we are all in a state of becoming what God created us all to be, so there is always room for some improvement! I have not put all the each exercise to practice yet, but I am in the process. Though a view my marriage as solid I want to follow the standard of always moving forward. This is an excellent easy to read book. Thank you Cook Communications and B&B Media Group for this review copy.
It's Not About You. It's Not About Me. It's About US...A User's Guide has a really long title, but I have loved and been challenged by the content. The author approaches marriage issues by contrasting the consumer mindset, which let's face it most Americans have, with the covenant mindset. Now before you decide that's not where you want to go, he does a great job of addressing both through telling stories. He shares the story of a troubled couple in each chapter, highlights what the issues are, and then shares strategies based on moving from a consumer (me, me, me) mentality to one that is focused on othering. I've been reading this book while on the treadmill, so haven't fully engaged in the exercises yet, but I am excited to apply what I'm learning. This book is packed with information that can help strengthen your marriage -- even if you already have a stellar one.